A LABOR DAY TRADITION CONTINUES

Needa Wrest is the President of Loco on the Ocean Condominium.  Needa couldn’t wait for Labor Day.  For one day there would be no meetings, no complaints, no checks to sign and no calls to answer.  Needa couldn’t have been more wrong.

Needa’s family was waiting for her in the car. All Needa had to do was make it there in order to have an enjoyable day.  The first obstacle, her next door neighbor Ima Complainer is in the hallway.  Ima immediately yells at Needa that she can’t tolerate the cigarette smoke coming into her unit when Needa smokes.  Needa never smoked a cigarette in her life.   She tells that to Ima who says she’s lying and she wants Needa to fine herself immediately.  Just to get out of there Needa promises to discuss it with the Board.

The elevator isn’t any better.  On the 4^th floor Board member Haywood Uleaveme gets on the elevator with unit owner Jose Luchar.  Noticing that there are now two Board members on the elevator, Jose freaks out.  He starts screaming that this is now an unauthorized Board meeting that wasn’t properly noticed and wants to know why it’s not on ZOOM.  Haywood and Needa tell Jose it’s not a meeting, it’s just an elevator ride and there’s no need for a ZOOM broadcast from the elevator; but Jose promises to file a complaint with the DBPR.

It’s no better on the first floor when Needa runs into unit owner Ernie Exagerate.  Ernie tells Needa that he never trusted her and knows that the Board meeting next week is a set-up, where both ICE and President Trump himself will be there.  Needa tells Ernie he’s wrong and that it’s just a meeting about some new landscaping.  Ernie said he’s coming with his lawyer and that they might as well hold the meeting in Alligator Alcatraz.

Needa sees her family in the car.  If she gets past the front door, she’s home free.  Of course Charlie Cheapskate cuts her off at the last second.  Charlie starts complaining about all of the new reserve payments that he refuses to pay.  He starts screaming that since he lives on the first floor, he won’t pay a dollar toward the elevator reserves, not a dollar toward the swimming pool because he never learned how to swim and not a dollar toward the air conditioning system because he’s always cold.   Desperate to get to the car Needa tells Charlie that those are all good ideas that he should bring up at the next Board meeting.  Charlie hasn’t been to a meeting since 1997.

Finally, Needa gets in the car and she’s with her family.  She’s also with unit owner Pushy Paula, sitting in the back seat, who tells Needa that she thought she would wait in the car with her family to tell Needa that the whole Board is actually off the Board because they didn’t get certified by taking an educational class.  Needa tells Paula that the Board has 90 days from getting elected to take the class and they still have plenty of time.  She even tells Paula  that the entire Board has signed up for the Condo Craze and HOAs Board Certification Course with attorney Eric Glazer and that she should watch the Condo Craze podcast on Sundays.  Now Paula is really enraged and gets out of the car and just before slamming the door screams at Needa and says “How can you trust anything that guy says…..he’s a lawyer.”

Needa pops two Advil and asks her driver to please floor the pedal.

This Labor Day belongs to every board member who shoulders the burden so their neighbors can live in peace.